the BadMonkey - bananas...or death.

2003-10-24T07:49:00.000+01:00

I get torn up by jealousy.
i don't know why. she tells me she loves me, and i know it's true, but she still has feelings for him, and i can't deal with it. I can't imagine life without her, i need her, she's my biggest/only supporter, but apart from the fact that (apparently) he doesn't call, i don't feel like there's any difference between me and him. every little thing she does to make me feel special, she does exactly the same for him, so I feel like just another 'friend' on the 'net. I don't want exclusivity, I'm not that possessive, I just want to know that there is no backup, no 'maybe' guy or fallback plan.
maybe i'm asking to much, or looking too deeply into something that doesn't really matter. but when the distance is so great, all i have is the calls and emails, and when i know i'm not the only one that gets either, I wonder...

I know, i'm a sad, deluded human being, but it still hurts.

2003-08-19T12:58:00.000+01:00

It's been a long time, shouldn'ta left you, without a dope post to step to...or something. Hello. I'm back. been a busy couple of weeks, have settled into my new job now though i think. I'm being left to fend for myself for a week as my bosses go to Germany for a trade fair, which is a bit worrying, as I don't know how to do a lot of the things they do yet. Still, at least it shows they have faith in me i s'pose.

spent all day yesterday re-stickering shower curtains. In Leicester. spent about 5 hours on the road in all, which would have been harder if i'd been driving. :) - My new boss emplyed my mate ed for the day to help out, so he was quite happy for the ca$h.

ummm... thats it for the moment i think - i'll be able to do some more updates over the course of the next week, as i'll be here by myself. hopefully i'll find some new links and jokes to keep you amused too...

2003-08-06T18:18:00.000+01:00

new day, new job. first day.

not bad.... did a bit of filing in the morning, had lunch with my two new bosses in the garden of the flat/office. i ate capers for the first time (reasonable, slightly strang), and ate blue cheese without going ewwwwwww at all! part of office duties involve making the tea and washing up after lunch, but everyone shares the chores (apparently) so i'm quite happy with that.

regarding the interview i got called for yesterday, I breached the subject over lunch, and they understood. for the diference in money, they knew they couldn't really argue and they're ok with it. I told them that even if i got it (unlikely) it would take a month n a bit to even start there, and all being well with this weeks trial, i think they'll want me to stay for as long as i can, even if i get it. which is nice :)

2003-08-05T15:50:00.000+01:00

I've just had another phone call. this time to offer me an interview working for these people. I know it's bad, but i already had my head ready for the job i start tomorrow. now this interview is coming up, for more money (£5000 a year more) and I have to go for it. which leads me to problem 2. the interview is next tuesday, at 2pm. Do I:
a) be honest and tell these guys that i still have interviews to go for, or
b) blag it by working extra the day before, so i can get off early? i don't know.

2003-08-05T14:37:00.000+01:00

Guess what? i got a J.O.B! remember the place i had the interview at yesterday? I start tomorrow morning. trial for 3 days, then see how that goes and hopefully start proper next week.... :) woo!

2003-08-04T21:02:00.000+01:00

Ever so slightly, you remind me of a staircase falling exotically into a sea of spilled macaroni.

courtesy of the surrealist compliment generator

2003-08-04T17:35:00.000+01:00

I had an interview this morning. with these people. It went ok, and they called me back in the afternoon to ask for contact numbers for my referees. they also asked me to explain this.. oops. remind me to change that.

This guy has the longest fingers in the world, unless this picture is fake.

I animated it so his finger went in and out, but it was so dodgy i deleted it for the sake of the world.

2003-07-31T09:55:00.000+01:00

mornin'

how's things? since i lost posted, i have applied for this... trouble is, even if i get a place on it, which isn't guaranteed, I'm going to have to live for a year on part-time wages, or (more likely) state benefits while i do it 4 days a week. still, after it, i'll be able to do the degree i should have done 10 years ago. I'm a bit nervous about going back into the education system after so long, but it could be fun, and it's in the field i want to be doing.

what else? umm... I'm trying to make a origami penguin partly cos my girl wants one and partly cos it's the kind of thing unemployed people should be doing, i reckon. I'm thinking about the orang-utan, but i don't want to get too hardcore until i've had some practice...

my mate ed's given me some codecs and a variety of mp3s, so i'm currently listening to MJ Cole, Shirley Bassey, and the Proclaimers. And i thought my taste was eclectic... ;)

2003-07-27T16:26:00.000+01:00

afternoon all.

well, i didn't go to gay pride yesterday. nor to the reclaim the beach afternoon event. But it was pissing with rain for most of the afternoon, so i guess thats no great loss. Sam came round in the evening, to marvel at my XP installation success. Oh, and to get drunk on bacardi n beer. We watched From The Cradle 2 The Grave, which was a bit poo, then an episode of Bo Selecta! from a disc full of epsiodes Ed gave me. But the most blogworthy part of the evening was the abomination that was the smell. Sam denied point blank that it was him, but as there were only two of us in the room, his guilt is obvious. Windows were opened, fans turned onto max, I even used the narsty air unfreshener thing. it still took an hour to clear. put me right of my chips, it did....grrr..

I've also been looking at the general availability of Ranch Dressing in this country. not much joy to be honest, although i did find 2 recipes for it. So if your diabetic, or even if you're not, fear not!

bored? then why not poke the penguin? careful though. too many pokes and he gets angry. and you wouldn't like him when he's angry...

I'm now off to do some housework. oh joy. :(

pic of the day:

2003-07-26T07:18:00.000+01:00

I'm back. Still with nothing to say, and no job, but i feel the need to vent some spleen (eurgh) so i'm gonna. run away now if you don't fancy reading miserableness..

I've been completely sideswiped by my own total lack of motivation to get a job. i NEED one, I WANT one, but i cannot be bothered enough to actually look very hard. I'm scared of filling out application forms, and i never used to be. I'm terrified that i won't get a job, and that in itself is stopping me trying. I want something i enjoy, i want to be trained in what i want to do, I want want want....I want it all. and i'm not prepared to wait, or it seems, to work for it. When i get my benefit money my first thought isn't "yay! i can get to interviews/buy food" as much as "oh. good. no i can get drunk and say bollocks to everything"

I've been taking lots of pictures of stuff on my windowsill. this works quite well as a mini-project, but again shows more than a little lack of imagination. *sigh*. There's a Gay Pride festival in London today. I'm not gay, but i wanted to go, to take lots of pictures of people being happy and excessively colourful. no ca$h though. nevermind.

Upgraded to Windows XP the day before yesterday. I'm unreasonably happy about that. it looks snazzy, and some of the features are cool. simple things please simple minds, or something like that.

according to popbitch:
Female ferrets don't ovulate until they have
sex, and they need really rough sex to stimulate
ovulation. If they don't get it hard enough they
can stay on heat indefinitely, the oestrogen levels
keep building up and they usually die from
oestrogen toxicity.

If it's true, I don't want to know how science discovered that.

2003-07-16T20:16:00.000+01:00

Hello.

I guess it’s time for another update. Trouble is, I haven’t done anything since my last one. And there aint much on the horizon either. I am a victim of Murphy’s Law. I finally have time to update regularly, yet I don’t have anything to say. As a result, I’ve decided to discontinue this blog. I’m not very good at it, and I feel strange writing my thoughts and stuff down. English reserve=keep it all inside. Apologies to ooh, the 6 or so people that have ever read this, but bye.

Carl.

2003-07-09T21:09:00.000+01:00

It's been brought to my attention that i have been neglecting you, dear blog. so here's an update. don't say i never do anything for you... :p

mostly i have just been bumming around, (in the lazty sense of the word) looking vaguely for work, but still not committed enough at the moment. i went to the careers centre round the corner from house. they said i wasn't in their 'catchment area' and had to get my advice from the centre 5 miles away. bloody local beuracracy. (sp i know, but i don't care.)

i have been eating:
5 Sainsbury's ready meals for £4.
egs, with or without toast
occasional pasta.

you'll notice that none of these foods contain much veg. in recent weeks i've realised that fruit and veg and basically anything nutricious have deserted my diet. people keep telling me i look anaemic, and i've been telling them i always look like this, but i'm beginning to think they may be right. i'm switching from lager to Guiness. maybe the iron will help....

pic of the day:

purdy flowa

joke of the day:

What do you call a French cobbler?
Phillipe Phillop

links:
shit songs
oh my god! go steve!

2003-07-04T23:13:00.000+01:00

oh man....this is a terrible shame. a million babies conceived to his music. there'll be some angels gettin' it On tonite.... R.I.P.

2003-07-03T16:31:00.000+01:00

Fursday.

Woke up, ate a family size pie, signed on, made appointment with careers advisor, and….thats about it. The jobcentre (JC) said my claim was still being processed, and that it could take 3 weeks before I get any money. I hope not. I’m so poor I’ve been trying to re-use matches.

Pic of the day:

Crap joke of the day: (from FHM)

A man is walking past a lunatic asylum when he hears a strange chanting… “thirteen!, thirteen!, thirteen!…” goes the noise from the over the fence. The man’s curiosity gets the better of him, and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It’s not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him hard in the eye. As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues – “fourteen! fourteen! fourteen!”

Crap links of the day (from b3ta.com unless they aint)
interesting family project
russian surf rock!
the classic penguin/asteroid game

2003-07-01T15:51:00.000+01:00

Hello again.

Sorry for the slight gap since my last post. This is due to me losing my job and not really being bothered enough to make note of it. But it’s a week hence now, and I need to wake up, smell the coffee type stuff, and get a noo job. But this time it’ll be different. This time I will get a job I actually LIKE, even if it kills me. Not quite sure what that will be, but I’m gonna run with the hope and see where it takes me, onwards then, to
pic of the day:

"bright lights, aargh"

Whats that? you want a
new piss-poor joke too? sheesh. some people never learn... ;)

A man walks into a fishmongers with a carp under his arm.
’Do you sell fishcakes?’ he says to the shop owner.
‘Of course we do’ comes the reply
The customer breathes a huge sigh of relief. ‘Thank god!’ he said, gesturing to the fish. ‘It’s his birthday’

links of the day
Real women drive SUV’s
a bit like Top Trumps, only with…err…people that aren’t very nice…
every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
goatees for all

2003-06-24T10:22:00.000+01:00

Morning,

Well, i'm at work now. nice(ish) quiet(ish) day. keeping my head down and fiddling yet more with this blog. Starting to learn a little HTML, but it's still all too bloody tricky. bah.

I made my favourite person in the whole world cry this morning. I feel like a total bastard. It wasn't intentional, just my usual petty jealousy/depressing gibber/early morning blah. So I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to them, and promise it won't happen again. Sweetness and fun all the way from now on, honest...
To prove my newfound joyfulness, i've promised to post the shittest joke in the world. I know you've heard it, cos i've tried to tell it to everyone. not cos it's funny, just cos there's only space for one joke in my head, and this is it:

piss-poor joke of the day
A guy walks into the doctors:
"Doctor! Doctor! my willy is full of holes! When i piss it goes everywhere!"
"I'll make you an appointment with mr Jones then"
"Is he a penis doctor?"
"No, he's a flute teacher. he'll show you how to hold it"

Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry.... (a) for being a dick, and (b) for forcing that joke on you for the millionth time. now can i have a smile? aww go on... just a ickle one?
Moving swiftly on.....
I'm going to have to post or repost my photos in this log, as i seem to have a lot of space on each page, although the majority of my stuff is on the website,

pic for today:

Dave the Grey Squirrel (Squirellus Scaryus Photoshoppus)

I've also decided that each day i'll post up some links to assorted 'stuff' i've found. We'll see if i actually remember to keep doing it....

links of the day:
Motorbikes and Iguanas in paper shocker!
Blind miracle monkey - "i see bananas"
(wo)man builds flight simulator at home, flies to Antigua
Playground fortune teller of doom terrorises kids
Van Gogh exposed as a nursery worker....

Bye for now,

tBM

Beach, reclaimed.....

2003-06-23T08:45:00.000+01:00

Saturday night was reclaim the beach night.
My mate sam and I have gone to the last few, and this time the turnout (on the summer solstice - longest day!) was the biggest yet. There must have been about a 1000 people hanging out on the banks of thames, drinking, dancing, smoking, n generally havin' a good time. i didn't take my camera as i couldn't find it's little carry pouch thing (lame excuse, i know) but i have pictures from the previous one! just imagine 3 times the number of people and not much twirlyness. I got home n to sleep at 5am, knackered.

view across to the embankment

multitwirls - made with lights on string and a long exposure on the camera

squiggles - what happens when you don't hold the camera still on long exposures... ;)

major twirl

The Weekend stops here....

2003-06-23T08:15:00.000+01:00

Had quite a mad weekend this week. On friday, i went to the nerf herder concert. it was fun, but unbelievably hot. i won't even inflict any pics of myself on you. I did however take some pics of the band, and general colours n stuff.....i think i may have been the oldest person in the building that wasn't working. adolescent bouncing and stage diving. felt like a flashback to my youth. :)

bring on the bass

the light

rock n roll geetar

sing up!

got home fairly early considering, clutching my t-shirt, A CD, and another CD. i felt about 15!

The weekend starts here...

2003-06-18T15:01:00.000+01:00